I read somewhere that bonding with your baby immediately after birth isn’t as important as everyone says. Sure, if you have a complication during labor, or if your child is a preemie and needs to be looked after, he’s not going to hate you for the rest of his life because you couldn’t bond with him right away. But it is definitely important, and it’s something that you can get with your child if you have an intervention-free birth.
I bonded with Jamie before he was even born. I could kind of tell what he would be like as a baby from the way he kicked. He loved kicking then, and still does, and he’s a total sweetie, and I knew he would be even then. The most important reason why bonding right when your child is born is vital is so you know who your baby is. So if you are in the hospital and they do take him away for awhile, you know that your baby is the one you’re being handed and not someone else’s. That’s the reason why babies are switched sometimes: because babies are being taken away from mothers before they can even get a mental imprint of what they look and sound like. Right when Jamie was handed to me, I made an imprint in my mind of what he looked like and what his cry sounded like. When they would hand him back to me in the hospital, I was confident that he was my baby and not someone else’s. I read an article where the parents of two children finally realized that their children were switched at the hospital when they were both one year old. They finally discovered this when one mother realized that their child didn’t look like her or the father. If mothers were given time to bond with their babies before being whisked away, this wouldn’t happen.
This bonding would also eliminate most of the feelings of disconnect that new parents feel when taking their newborn home from the hospital. I’ve seen shows like Bringing Home Baby where the parents bring their first baby home and while in the car, they make comments like, “I can’t believe they let us take him home!” Of course they did! He’s your baby! He’s not property of the hospital. Taking your newborn who was originally in your body is not the same as taking home one of their machines. I admit, I kind of felt the same way when Jamie was born. When my midwife handed him to me, I almost wanted to hand him back because she delivered him. Then I remembered that I pushed him out. She just caught him. He would have been born whether she was there or not. To me, marveling at the fact that they would let you take the baby home with you is like saying you’re surprised they let you take a body part home with you. He was originally part of your body. Now he’s out in the world. That is the only thing that has changed.
Another benefit of bonding is that your child will be less clingy if you have a strong relationship with him. I think some people believe that if you have him with you 24/7 he’ll be clingy, and put their babies in cribs and baby containers, but it’s actually the other way around. If he knows that you love him and will be coming back for him, then he’ll be okay being alone for awhile. If you and stick him in a crib or a bouncy seat and leave him to cry (which is the same as ignoring him, because babies use crying as communication), he’ll want to stick by you more, because the closer he is in proximity to you, the less likely you are to ignore him.
